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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Why I stopped Blogging.

I know  haven't blogged in about a year.  To be honest I just haven't felt like it. After the death of Kevin things in my life just kept getting more depressing. My job was giving me less hours and I couldn't meet my bills. Thank God for tax returns. And the universe came through for me once again by giving me enough to get caught up for a while. It's not like I have all these out standing bills.  I haven't had a credit card in years! My motto is, "if I can't buy it with cash than I don't get it".  That's a motto more people should use. I seem to get in trouble with the ATM debit card.  It makes it to easy for you to spend your money on things not in your budget.  For me its eating out! Every day I was waking up worrying about my bills. It was the first thing on my mind when I open my eyes. Trying to find a job is another frustrating area that has made me feel useless. I use to be a loan processor and I can't even get a teller job.  I don't seem to be quailfied for anything and I have lost most of my self esteem due to the countless times I never even was called in for a interview.
Now to top it off I had another person I cared for pass away in this year. Her name was Nancy. She was the wife of Michael who I grew up with. I've known her forever it seems but about two years ago we got together to have a girls day out in Philadelphia and we had the best time. We kept promising each other that we had to do it again and we never got that chance. There's another good lesson never let the world get in the way of spending time with friends and loved ones because you may not have the chance tomorrow. She is so missed. Oddly enough the last time we saw each other we both were in tears over our close friend Kevin.
Than to top off this year my beloved dog Angel  passed away too.  Since I didn't have the money to take him the the vet, I watched him suffer. He was about 15 years old and had a good life, but I miss all his little goofy things he use to do and wish I could have made it more comfortable for his last hours.
Well, enough of me whinning about my problems. I just wanted to give everyone an idea of why I haven't been blogging. I just had nothing great going on in my life and thought I don't want to make anyone feel bad for me.  Now it's a new year and like the saying goes it's never to late to start the day over. So here we go I'm starting the day over or this year I'm starting over with a new attitude that everything is a test of my attitude toward situations. My motto this year is going to be, "I can do this!" Also I am going to be grateful for all that I do have and for all the joy that the little things in life bring to me!

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