Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Doing Some Soul Searching

Hi Everybody. Hope everyone is well. I know I haven't been blogging, but I needed some time to do some soul searching. I hit 49 years old this year and I looked in the mirror and realized that the woman looking back at me wasn't someone I knew. It was this woman who was definately older than I was. That just couldn't be me.   I kept promising myself that I was going to work on this but until today I haven't made that attempt. You know when you say you want to do something but are too afraid of failing well.... This is the plan and I really need your support. I want to revamp my life in every aspect. I want to work on my health, my looks and my finances. I'm going to start eating right. No more trips through the drive thru. Eat three meals a day which I haven't done in ages. It's not like I need to lose weight, I'm very lucky in that I am thin. Then of course my looks. I am going to get a whole new wardrobe. I am tired of looking so frumpy. I see women who look so put together and I am embarrassed of how I have let myself go. I use to be the all time fashionista that wouldn't dare walk out of the house not looking perfect. So I'm going to get as many pieces of clothing I can get within my budget of $1,000.00. Then of course I am going to start wearing makeup again. I don't even remember when I stopped wearing makeup but I know I need it now. The other thing is getting my hair cut in a new style and keeping up on getting it colored. Then last but not least my finances. I haven't written in my checkbook in years and that darn debit card is so easy to use. Then my big goal this year is moving into my own home again. I love my mother to death but I need to feel that I can be independent again. This is one of the hardest goals because even though my mother isn't even quite sure who I am anymore there still is this bond between us. When she gets confused and scared she comes to me and pleads with me to never leave her. I thought that when the day comes I will just bring her to my home. Now you know my goals and like I said before I really need your support and if you have any words of encouragement, they will be greatly appreciated. I am going to blog everyday to let you all know how I'm doing.

1 comment:

  1. Carol - what a blessing to read your post - bless you! And Yes, I encourage you on your journey. I've been doing the same over the last...hmm...several years, but mostly the last year as I have been forced to through the graduate program I am presently in. As women, it's so easy to get caught up the the days, the roles we have, the duties, and somewhere along the way part of us can become dormant. I encourage you as you bring yourself to life - where you are now, and a culmination of who you have become. I look forward to reading about your journey!